It’s another night of cartoon watching for the baby and I …
We’re watching the “Sprout” channel …
(shoot me … please!)
I’ve already watched about 2 hours full of the dumbest, idiot cartoons the world has ever produced when the live, idiot girl, tells a muppet moon that “Barney’s” up next.
My gag reflexes are activated …
I draw the line at that, tall, gender-confused , sexually ambiguous, purple reptile …
Me: “Uh … let’s change the channel!”
Baby: “NO! Barney’s coming on …”
Me: ”But .. (thinking fast) … you don’t like “Barney”
Baby: ”YES I DO!”
Me: ”No .. you don’t! (thinking faster) … “Uh … You told me yesterday that you didn’t like “Barney”, remember?”
Baby: (thinks for a minute) “Oh …”
Me: (to self while changing the channel) Thank God! I dodged the purple bullet! He-He …
(7 minutes later …)
Baby: ”NO I DIDN’T!!!”
Me: (to self while changing it back) Damn!
Do you all know those commercials for that piece of shit product “Your Baby Can Read”? It features a bunch of, like, newborns, still dripping with amniotic fluid, reading or acting out the words their shit-for-brains, idiot parents are showing them on pieces of paper/flash cards? Then the parents look at the
Continue reading My Baby Can Plead!
Most of you know that about two months ago I entered the fabulous world of pole dancing.
To say I love it would be an understatement. It’s made me wonder if every female out there isn’t born with a specific gene or predisposition to wrapping an arm, a hand, a leg
Continue reading Wicked Session
My sister owns a few brownstone’s in Brooklyn. Today, I was showing a vacant 3 bedroom duplex at one of them. I have been known to rip Brooklyn a new one for some of it’s shadier areas, but today I really couldn’t say anything bad about it. Here are a few shots I took
Continue reading A Walk Through Brooklyn
So, it’s 3am and I decide to break out my various make-up cases and newly purchased make-up items. I proceed to do a “Kardashian inspired” smokey eye on the left eye and a “Classic day eye” on the right eye …
Then …
I put on Notting Hill … (FABULOUS! movie, by the way
Continue reading Walking Cookie …
Pack of Orbitz gum … $1.50
Stop at Duane Reade to grab some misc. items … $15.67
Taking subway to meet friend … $2.25
Getting four stops into Brooklyn before realizing you got on the wrong train … Priceless
Hickory, dickory dock! Mommy can’t find your sock! If you picked up your stuff This wouldn’t be so tough! Hickory, dickory dock!
My Dear, Dear, Dear Baby Boy,
It seems we need to have … a little talk. You’re 5 now – almost 6! – and you’re at an age where you’re as hysterical as you are insolent. You seem to be questioning me ALL! the time. I believe the book calls this, “testing” me? …
Continue reading Love, Mommy …
Bless me Loyal Friends and Readers, for I have sinned. It’s been damn near two months since my last blog post.
It definitely hasn’t been for lack of material or wanting to write, so much as lack of time, motivation, energy and the such.
I’ve given some reflection on my lazy and wayward nature
Continue reading Eureka!
Wooo Hooo!! I revamped my blog’s design!!
It took me ALL day to finally get it all done and now it’s 5:30a, my kid’s snoring and drooling and Mall Cop is on …
So, a bit about my new look …
I was, first and foremost, inspired by all this lovely lady’s blogs: The
Continue reading Blog. Made Over …
